Finding Out We Were Having Twins
Can I believe I’m writing this?
Well, more like, can I believe I’m writing this with two babies growing inside of me?
No, absolutely not.
But when I look at all the seeds the LORD has been graciously planting over this past year, I can.
Let me rewind to a few weeks ago…
I was 10 weeks pregnant at the time, and my husband and I went in for our first midwife appointment.
Once we got settled in the room, our midwife excitedly asked us, “Are you ready to see your baby?”
Us: “Yes!!!”
And this is the moment I’ll remember for the rest of my life…
She gets out her ultrasound, places the wand on my belly, immediately finds a baby, moves the wand a few inches to the left… and spots another baby.
Right when she sees the second baby, she’s like, “Wait…”
She pans back to the first baby and then gasps.
And oh how I knew what that gasp meant. And I immediately started crying—out of terror and overwhelm.
Twins.
Growing two babies instead of one.
Birthing two babies instead of one.
Breastfeeding two babies instead of one.
Burping, swaddling, bathing, changing diapers for two babies instead of one.
Oh Lord how you know how to grow our capacity!
From the moment of this ultrasound, it took us about two hours to process this news.
Then the next 24 hours were complete adrenaline and genuine excitement.
Then the next three days were ones of reality sinking in… as I was giving our one-year-old a bath, I started crying, thinking about having to give two newborn babies baths. With each thing I did for Rome throughout the day, it sank in that I’d be doing it for the twins and for him (did I mention we’ll have three under two?).
But by the time Sunday rolled around, twins were our new norm. A new norm we were stoked about.
My new motto has quickly become, “One day at a time.”
Because if I think about how ginormous I’m going to get, or how labor is going to be, or the sleepless nights that will follow, I know I’ll spiral real quick.
So now, one day at a time.
Never has Matthew 6:34 rung truer: “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”
Ain’t that the truth?
All our humanness can muster is enough capacity for today—“Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”
And never have I needed to be so woefully dependent on my Shepherd.
I am fully embracing my role as His sheep—entering into the rest and safety that He offers.
"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil, for you are with me;
your rod and your staff, they comfort me” (Psalm 23: 1-4).
Jesus, thank You for being a Shepherd that we can completely depend on. Thank You for being the source of our strength, our peace, and our security. Thank You for entrusting us with these two eternal souls. May we train them up in the way they should go so that even when they are old, they will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6). In Your Almighty Name, amen.
